Monogamy is not the norm, and it’s not normal either. It can be possible, and it’s a choice many of us make in relationships, but it’s not natural. Like the albatross and the wolf, we’re often tempted to have the occasional fling. But unlike those lovely creatures, that dalliance often brings us tremendous heartache. And it’s not just the betrayal of an affair that hurts; it’s also the shattering of our deluded belief that true love guarantees a lifetime of monogamous lust.
It’s an extraordinarily damaging idea that the desire for other people is somehow a terrible aberration in our long-term love lives. Most of us, gay, straight or bi, are going to be touched by infidelity on one side of the fence or the other. It’s probably going to happen, so why does it still hurt us so much after all these evolutionary years?