tumblr_mgfwyfXzmx1rwmmfvo1_5002I’m often asked how I started living an openly non-monogamous sex-life. I’d like to be able to say I worked it out for myself, frustrated as I was with the limitations of middle-class relationships.

However, the truth is, I was fortunate to cross paths early in my life with a wise and sexy guy who has spent his whole life living authentically.

 Not only did he show me what real sex is, but also how to enjoy a loving and sexy primary relationship that allows for select others to share in and enhance the sexual energy by becoming complementary lovers.

 For me, this is the only way to live a long-term relationship. It simultaneously acknowledges our most primal desires for variety whilst increasing the passion and interest in our primary partner as we “reclaim” them sexually after we know they have been with another chosen lover.

I agree with Alain de Botton who wrote in his recent book,  ‘How to think more about sex’ , that although this lifestyle (which is not to be confused with swinging) is something only a minority of people will choose to live in Western societies, it is actually the only solution to avoid the compromises and dishonesty that inevitably results from attempting to live in a socially-sanctioned, monogamous long-term relationship.